Old Friends

Like most people, I’ve lost friends throughout my life. But some have really stood the test of time. They remember who I was before and how much I’ve changed they’ve seen me at my best and worse. I don’t think I’d rather have anyone else at my back.

My best male friend who shall only be known as The Editor did so on my first book has been the only person who I can talk most about my book with. Having read it and given me ideas on how to make it better has made him instrumental in my development as a writer.

There were questions he’s asked about the world of the Aftermath Collection, that I hadn’t actually thought of. He’s done more for the world building than any flights off inspiration I’ve had. I wouldn’t have come this far this quickly without him.

Friend 2 is probably the person I trust most in the world. No matter what I’ve come clean about to her she’s never judged me. I don’t know anyone with a bigger heart and better judge of character. The fact that she spends time with me, makes me believe that I might actually be worth it.

They’ve been with me through a lot and I will never take them for granted. I don’t think I’d be anywhere near this far in life or in the career I want without them. They’ve taught just taught me so much.

Influences

So I haven’t reached my goal and it’s kind of eating me up inside. I need to get better at not only self-motivation but time management. I’ve already talked about having issues with Balance. And honestly, it’s not something I’ve ever done very well. I’m trying to get a lot better at it. I’ve been writing as an author now for two years and I still feel like I’m just getting better and writing and hopefully that leads to becoming better at the business.

Now that’s out of the way I want to talk a bit more about me. I know big surprise but, I think once you understand who I am as a person, my writing and characters make a lot more sense.  Maybe you if you have similar problems and issues then you can connect with them and me.

I didn’t always want to be an author at least not for the right reasons. I’ve always wanted to tell stories but I remember ardently wanting to be a Power Ranger. (That didn’t happen, just for the record.)  I have told stories since I was kid taking things I’d seen on tv and movies and playing games with all that stuff fused together. I’ll admit it, I LARP’d I LARP’d hard as a kid and probably past when it was socially acceptable. I played these games much longer than I should have but, I loved them more than video games and even books. I won’t name any of my co-conspirators because they more or less lead productive lives and I’d hate to ruin that with my need to say way too much.

I realized after acting, wanting to sing, and dance, it was all about telling a story. I’ve never wanted anything else as long as I’ve lived. I want to make a living doing this that seems like a pipe dream now but I’m going to keep trying and I’ll never give up.

Anyway, for me some of my biggest inspirations are anime. When I was a kid it was Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Pokemon, Digimon, and Shinzo. I never missed an episode. It was all about big set pieces, larger than life fights, and they looked like nothing I’d ever seen before. There was always something interesting going on with the look, the sound, or just where the inspiration came from. It was either something so alien I’d never come across anything like or It was mixing and matching them in ways I hadn’t thought of.

I drank it all in. I soaked it up like a sponge. I literally couldn’t get enough of the stuff. I became someone not just interested in the product but the culture. History, martial arts, myths and legends, and even their food. I liked it so much because it seemed like they looked at the world in a completely different way. Even today, JRPGs are kind of my favorites.

I guess with this post I just wanted to give an update and a little more insight into the man behind the keys. The sequel is going well I’ve just got a few more things I’m not happy with yet before I begin editing.

2017 Plans!!

This is probably really late considering we’re at least a week into the new year but I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. It galls me that I didn’t have anything finished in 2016. I can’t let this year end the same. So I’m giving myself real approachable goals this time around.

 

  • Finish writing Golden Wings by the end of (Jan 2017)
  • Have Golden Wings edited and out by the end of (June 2017)
  • Finish outline for Shinigami 03 by the end of (July 2017)
  • Have Shinigami 03 written by the end of (Dec 2017)
  • Make time to work on other books in The Aftermath Collection

I have taken steps to ensure what has happened to me last year will not effect this year. I’ve been working hard to increase my productivity and making sure I write more every day than I was ever doing the past two years. I’m really going to put in the time to make sure I do what I’m setting out to do.

I don’t think I expect a lot from people.

I guess the title says it all, I mean I don’t really feel like I need much from everyone. At work, mostly I just want people to do their damn jobs. It’s not really that hard, I understand things may come up or you have a bad day but, it doesn’t make sense for you to not work to catch up on the days you just aren’t feeling it. Especially, when departments seem to be able to get their stuff out in the same amount of time or quicker.

With friends, I understand I’m not your first priority and often times you aren’t mine. I don’t expect you to drop everything when I text and I don’t loose my mind when you don’t call. If you want to hang out I will certainly make time for you if I don’t have any earlier plans. If you promise to get back to me I totally understand if you don’t. It’s really not a problem, I love you and if that’s who you are chances are I already know that about you.

People are going to hurt you. I mean it’s a forgone conclusion, right? The closer you get to friends, family, and SO’s the more likely, they will do something that’s going to hurt you. Do you stop loving them? I guess it depends on how egregious the actions that were taken. But, for me I kind of realize this is a thing within their nature and moving forward our relationship, whatever it is, will have to reflect that. Now that doesn’t mean beating them up about it every chance you get but, maybe just keeping it in the back of your mind at all times.

Maybe it’s wrong to say I don’t expect much from people but, I think it’s true. I’ve learned from a young age that people are going to let you down and often times there’s nothing you can do about it. I think it’s more a part of growing up and being the starry-eyed kid doesn’t work anymore.

I’ve got an issue, well more than a couple.

I am bad at disclosing, maybe you’ve already figured that out I mean I’m not exactly forthcoming with any of the finer details of my life. That’s partly because I’m boring and partly because I like to be able to step away from this whenever I can. Don’t know what exactly that says, actually, I probably do but, I’ll talk about in some other time.

Back at to the topic at hand, I don’t really understand how to do it. Not that I can’t but, how much is enough? How much is too much? Again, my problem seems to be balance, I can’t seem to find it I feel like I’m an open book but, I don’t feel like the people I want to get to know me actually do.

I can’t say it’s all on them I just feel like some part of me would rather fit into roles rather than be honest with people. It makes it easy. I don’t have to be anyone other than this and I can keep the deeper parts of me hidden. Letting down my walls doesn’t come easy and when I finally it doesn’t seem like people like what they find. Maybe it means I’m crazy but, aren’t the best people?